Joker and Queen
by Month4
Summary: Mysterious Joker meets Hansel and Gretel. Got the idea when I watched the second episode of the second season of said show. Another piece to my fanfiction project of combining major plot points with my favorite genres. Hope you enjoy. Rated T to be safe.


One stormy night in a room that looks like a mix between a science lab and a kitchen a woman with long blond hair and a chief's hat on gives off an evil cackle.

"Finally, after three long years I'm ready for my revenge," sneers Chief (AN: the anime never gave her name, but it's the woman that was in the second episode of the second season). "I'll make that Kaitou Joker pay for stealing my once-in-a-lifetime chance of cooking The Rainbow Peacock Egg. I've spent all this time getting this one chocolate recipe having the effect of just by smelling it they are put in a hypnotic trance, making the chocolate smell and taste like their favorite food. But now I am going to leave that for the morning." She leaves the lab/kitchen to go to bed.

In the morning in Mister Kaneari's study at his manor

Mister Kaneari is at his desk with a mountain of paperwork when he hear the approaching voice of an insistent assistant. Chief enters closely followed by Kaneko. Chief is carrying a covered platter.

"I'm sorry Kaneari-sama," exclaims Kaneko. "I don't know how she got past the guards."

"Don't worry, I'll give them an earful later. You round them up in the front hallway," responds Kaneari. Kaneko leaves the two of them alone in the study to do what Kaneari told her to do.

"What brings you here?" asks Kaneari.

"I want another go at catching Kaitou Joker," states Chief. "And you're going to help me."

"OK, let's hear your plan," shrugs Kaneari.

"All I need you to do is to call for another one of those underworld parties," begins Chief with a grin. "Throw a chocolate truffle party. Have the center display be my ancestor's recipe for Dark Forrest Devine Chocolate Truffle. I'll do the rest."

"I won't do it," exclaims Kaneari. "I will hear what you're going to do in this plan of yours." That's when Chief's face turns to a scowl.

"You will do as I say!" yells Chief as she uncovers the platter she had been carrying, revealing a homemade chocolate bar on it, one whiff and Kaneari's eyes goes wide and his mouth hangs open in a trance. "You will call for another underground party the way I described?"

"Yes I will," replies Kaneari. Chief tosses over the chocolate bar as Kaneari calls for Kaneko on her way out.

The next day Kaneari receives an advance notice from Kaitou Joker.

This evening I will be at your underground party. The recipe for Dark Forrest Devine Chocolate Truffle will disappear in a puff of smoke.

Kaitou Joker

After reading the advance note Kaneari phones Chief about it. Chief tells him to move forward with the plan.

Early that evening

"Well I've set everything up according to the designs you gave me, I didn't even put a bomb in it," explains Kaneari. "I've roped the area around the display case and put man traps underneath the tiles in a way that he'll get caught if he steps past the ropes. At least one of his feet will get caught as he tries to go across the floor. Now please tell me the rest of your plan." They are both standing in the party area of the restaurant surrounded by the people the red haired rich man invited.

"No," says Chief bluntly. "Just stick to the plan. I'm going to get my part underway." She leaves for the kitchen, unaware that a curtain silver haired thief heard them as he's disguised as a server.

"Oh poor Chief," grins Kaitou Joker. "Little did they know nobody will be going across the floor."

A little bit before the due time of the theft Joker opens one of the windows in the short hall connecting the party room to the kitchen. He reaches down holding a bell to be as close to a hole on the ground by the building. He rings it and his short partner, Hachi, pops out a moment later.

"Everything ready Hachi?" asks Joker.

"Yep," nods Hachi. "I fit through the inside of the display case perfectly Joker-san."

"Great," comments Joker. "The smoke bomb cards are all set up. Now you grab the treasure when you hear the cries of surprise."

"Got it," responds Hachi before crawling back into the hole. Joker continues his role as an innocent waiter.

Just right before the time of the theft

Joker takes his position outside the door to the party room to watch what happens. A few seconds later he smells curry wafting from the kitchen. He can't help it and before he knows it he's walking towards the kitchen. He sneaks quietly into the kitchen, making sure Chief's helpers not notice him, and sees a little candy house made out of homemade chocolate bars on a small counter just a few steps away from the door. He creeps up to the chocolate house that's the source of the curry smell. He breaks off a piece of the chocolate house and eats it. The chocolate does tastes like curry. Joker continues to eat the chocolate house quietly without noticing a door in front of his legs opens and mechanical arms places hand cuffs around his ankles. Once he's eaten the last of the chocolate house a bola comes out from behind him and traps the upper parts of his arms to his body. He turns and sees Chief stepping out of a hidden passageway behind him, holding the other end of the rope that is connected to the bola around him.

"Joker, how nice of you to join us," Chief says with an evil smile on her face. With his free hand Joker presses the detonator for the smoke bomb cards in the party room. Suddenly there's a huge booming sound coming from that place.

"What was that?" asks one of Chief's goons.

"Forget about it," commands Chief. "The recipe in the display case was a copy anyway, I have the real prize. Continue your work while I put Joker where he will get fattened up for the best soup I will enjoy." As Chief is leading Joker down the hallway he talked to Hachi through the window Joker sees his partner crawl out of the hole in the ground. Joker pulls on the rope to stay in front of the window.

"Hachi! It was all a trap! Go get help!" calls Joker before stumbling after Chief as she leads him away. Hachi runs away with tears in his eyes and the recipe in his hands as he pushes the buttons on his phone. Joker is taken into a car and to Chief's house.

Joker is lead to a room with a chair like at a dentist's, but with straps and mechanical arms attached to it. There's piles of cupcakes cookies and donuts beside the chair. One mechanical arm has a glass of milk attached to it. Five straps restrains his arms, wrists and legs to the chair, the headrest has sides that bends to keep the head in place and one strap to place two wires in his mouth. A screw on the strap makes the two wires part so that Joker's mouth is now wide open. With a flick of a switch and the mechanical arms starts shoving the treats from the piles into Joker's mouth. The one with the milk pours the liquid into his mouth, making Joker swallow the treats.

"Don't worry Joker," sneers Chief. "All that is just store bought. I want to make sure that you are fully aware of your fate. Now I must get ready for your backup." She leave poor Joker in the room alone being force-fed until he's fat enough to be cooked.

With Silver Heart at his house

Silver Heart is in the sitting room reading a book when his cell phone rings. He looks at the caller ID before answering.

"Hello Hachi, how goes the heist?" asks Silver Heart. "What…. You mean the same one that captured my Queen?" That got his other guests' attention. King, Queen and Rocco peaks their heads through the doorway to the kitchen.

"Hold on Joker, I'm coming!" yells Silver Heart as he jumps up. But with a sudden jerk and a loud scream the old man falls back on the couch. His three guests runs up to him in a panic. After confirming that Silver Heart just threw his back out King picks-up his old mentor's cell phone where it fell when the injury happened.

"Hey Hachi, it seems as though the old man's trick back just now did him in," King sighs into the phone, then after a pause he turns towards Queen. "Queen, does the name Chief ring a bell?"

"Does it ever," answers Queen. "She captured me during a job and tried to fatten me to be cooked."

"Do you remember where she lives?" asks King.

"Not off the top of my head," replies Queen. "But I can find it in my records."

"Good, do that and meet me in the blimp," responds King. "We're going to rescue Joker."

At Chief's house

King, Rocco and Queen creep through Chief's house until they walk into the room where Joker has been put in. As soon as they've entered Joker makes muffled sounds. Even though the sounds were muffled they figured out that he's saying that they should flip the switch. Once King did that the arms on the chair stops, queen takes the gag out and Joker spits out the food that is in his mouth.

"Took you long enough to get here," exclaims Joker.

"What happened to you?" asks Rocco. "What made you fall into a trap so easily?"

"I don't know," shrugs Joker. "While waiting to spring my heist I smelled curry flavored chocolate. Once I've found it I began eating it. While I was eating it was when the woman caught me."

"That gives me an idea," exclaims Queen, then she turns towards the other two members of the rescue party. "King, you free Joker from his bonds. Rocco, you're with me." Queen and Rocco runs off while King gets to work with the straps tying Joker to the chair.

In Chief's lab

After a while looking through all of the papers in the room Queen and Rocco finds the notes telling about the development of the special chocolate. After some more time Queen makes a batch of the chocolate with Rocco bringing her ingredients. Once she's done she quickly covers up the chocolate in a jar.

"What are you doing?" asks King as he walks into the lab with Joker leaning on him.

"Setting up a trap for Joker's hostess. We are going to our version of the story of Hansel and Gretel," answers Queen as she puts the jar with the chocolate into the oven. "What's wrong with him?"

"The straps tied me down pretty tightly," explains Joker. "My arms and legs are going to be numb for a little while."

"Well blow some image gum, hold your nose and breathe through your mouth," instructs Queen as she unplugs the oven.

Later

Chief enters her lab following a delicious scent to the open oven. She doesn't notice the extra counters in the room. She finds a bar of chocolate in the oven and she bends over to reach it. Suddenly one of the extra counters pops like a balloon revealing Queen inside it. She quickly shoves Chief into the oven, closes it, blows two pieces of image gum to turn it into a little grappling hook and uses the new tool to tie the door closed. The other fake counters pops revealing the other three inside. Queen helps Joker walk to King's car and the four of them gets away, to Silver Heart's house. Where they meet up with Hachi to bask in the success of their mission to rescue a comrade.

The End


End file.
